Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize