let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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