it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my being single is dangerous.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize