every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
