Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
