I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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