if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize