i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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