2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
