You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
