How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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