Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
