Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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