He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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