For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
