Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
too bad you live with your parents still
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
