I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
