1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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