I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
