Umm I'm too high to move.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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