After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
