he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
