I like my sex mixed with concussions.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
