Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
