I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
