Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
