so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
