you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
