69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
