I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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