I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
