You're so nebulous sometimes
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
