Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
