I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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