I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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