I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
