Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize