Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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