remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
