therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
