Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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