Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize