i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
