You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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