my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize