Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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