I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
