he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
