it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
