ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
