You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
