apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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