Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
