I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
