taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
