What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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