...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
