You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
