It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
