How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
