Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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