i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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