I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
what the fuck happened to the tacos
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
