yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
