Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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