can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I will be naked everywhere
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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