I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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