if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize