Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
