Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
